Hospital Kerajaan...

Hehe... apasal tajuk tu? macam jahat je bunyik dia kan hehe. Baru balik dari hospital putrajaya ni...

Ngantuknyaaaa takut ramai orang pagi-pagi dah kena pegi spital. sekali tgk tak ramai pun, tapi masih lama kat situ. kenapa ya? hehe. takleh berenti gelak. terlebih gula kot ni. hehe.

arini takdek doctor... so diorang set appointment untuk ari khamis, 11 Januari 2007. hmm... nak buat appointment pun kena pegi 2 tempat, tunggu menunggu, and spend 1 hour there. servis ok, nurse baik-baik, cumanya slow. tulah nak komplen sgt pun... spital awam so itu pasal yang takleh berenti senyum. lambatnya bukan apa, mungkin kecekapan tu kurang, dari segi taip-menaip, click-mengclick, soal-menyoal... lambat kat situ je, tapi bezanya membawa ke banyak banyak minit sebab draggy!

so khamis ni kena pegi spital lagi. hospital itu teman karibku. hehe. gila. hehe.

Check Up 7th January 2007

[070107] Nice Date!

Well... Khayra's fine. Size ok, up to her age, or maybe just slightly lighter. Position ok, head down, haven't engaged... Yeah, she's just fine!

But I am not.

My urine still got problems. Albumin's there, still, and it's still quite high. Now doctor's worried of my kidney function, and asked if i have had family history of high blood pressure. She wants me to be referred to the specialist AGAIN. AARRGHHH!!!! our allocation for specialists are used up, so she said i should go to Hospital Putrajaya, yes, again. AAAAA!!! AAAA!!!! AAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apa niii!!

So... we're going to Hospital Putrajaya tomorrow. dunno how will dat turn out. The doctor jest now said i'd prolly be referred to a Neferlogist [heck i dunno wat dat is or i spelt it right]. So, i'm getting ready to wait long hours at dat hospital and being pushed around. *sigh* This is bad bad bad for my emotional state!

Too young a babysitter!!

To ppl who watched the news yesterday [and 999, or read newspaper today] would've prolly heard bout a babysitter's husband who killed baby Mohd Airell Azim who is only 8 months old with a pillow [suffocating him], JUST BECAUSE the baby couldn't stop crying.

When i heard the news, at first i was devastated, how could you do such thing to a infant who doesn't know anything?!! Furthermore, you're PAID to take a good care of him! But when the newscaster voice out the age of the babysitter and her husband, i was like... Hah, no wonder!

Ok, I was a young mother. i was only 23 when i had Jazz, and it is said that women mature faster then men. Now, the murderer's age is 23. To my experience, I remembered being furious towards my own few days old baby who couldn't stop crying especially at night. With my C-Section wound still pounding, it was quite annoying ALTHOUGH i am her MOTHER. I tried to be patient with Jazz, but when i got impatient, me n hubby would get into fighting. But As we age we began to be 'immune' with Jazz's shouting, screaming and crying. Sumtimes we could just ignore her screamings for hours, yes, hours.

Now, back to the baby's story. The guy is 23, his wife is 22. hmm... Does this couple EVEN HAS A BABY OF THEIR OWN?! man, i doubt. [update: they do haf one child, ONE] I know this may sound awkward, but i partly blame the parents, why sent the infant to such young couple?! ok i know i know even old ppl sumtimes dera budak, but the younger the age is, the more likely the person to be panas baran, moreover at night, when they're tired after a day's work. But yeah, malang tak berbau. or prolly the parents had no other options opened. Of course, the parents' fault is too teeny-weeny compared to the cold-blooded murder done by that 23 years old man. However berserabut ur kepala is, or however big ur problems are, it doesn't give u the right to kill sumone else's infant, or put it this way, killing another makhluk Allah! Gila ke?!

*sigh* so many cases of babysitters lately. i thank God that we rarely have problems with Kak Zan [Jazz's babysitter], we sent Jazz to her since she was one year and 3 months. Now Jazz is almost four, apart from slight cleanliness problems, we never had any big issues with her. bertambah gemuk and spoilt lagi aderlah budak tu. Tapi risau jugak ni, dah sebulan lebih Jazz ni duduk umah, nanti nak anta semula sure meraung-raung. I've been reminding her dat she's going back to her mama's [she calls Kak Zan mama] house once Khayra is birthed to take care of Khayra there when i'm off to work. she'd scream her lungs out 'TANAK!!'. yeap. DIE.

The 2nd day of 2007, Itsa wet ZOO day!

long hols makes Jazz bored being at home. so her dad decided to take her to d zoo, AGAIN.

it nearly rained when we were on d way, but upon reaching the place, it poured! oh luckyness! but redah ajer, dah masuk. since we've been here for like a zillion times (hehe bohong giler, baru 3 kali sejak ada Jazz) so malas nak describe. well yelaa... kita dah biasa, Jazzy yang seronok. Jazzy loves animals, especially fish. bila dah on the way home first thing yang dia ingat to kecoh-kecohkan were the fishes. pastu ikan kecik2 dia tak heran, ikan yang besar gedabak tu yang paling dia ingat. and since i've been teaching her colors during my homebound, she's describing all the colours of the animals she could remember. Good. at least the wetness of the zoo gave her a good learning time.

SOOO tired! but i didn't mind the walk, although sakit gila belakang ni. cus walking dah nak masuk 9 mths ni, dah takyah risau pasal bersalin early sangat. walking is good for the birthing process. cumanya saper suruh gemuk, tu pasalla sakit belakang. Despite our tiredness, after the zoo trip abah decided to buy his precious daughter some more coloring books. kat umah bukan tak ada, tapi semuanya dah abih si Princess colorkan. So we went to Chip Lee Kajang in pursuit of some coloring books and jigsaw puzzle [also another of Jazz's latest indulgence] but jigsaw puzzle yang available only yang 1000 pieces, tak sesuaiiii although I was soo tempted to buy hehe. heeiippppp, hafta thing rationally, better save money for jamu bersalin than buying a jigsaw puzzle dat Jazz can't play. jest bought two coloring books for her, then pegi makan my fav briyani at warta.

dat's our 1st big family activity in 2007. Main ujan kat zoo.

Kecekalan Maryam, mampukah kita menjadi secekal dia?

Salah satu amalan yang harus dilakukan oleh ibu-ibu mengandung ialah mengamalkan membaca Surah Maryam. But for me, tak puas kalau sekadar membaca-buta saja. Kenapa kita dituntut membaca surah ni ketika mengandung?

Dan bacakanlah (wahai Muhammad) di dalam kitab Al Quran ini perihal Maryam, tatkala ia memencilkan diri dari keluarganya di sebuah tempat sebelah timur (timur Baitul-Maqdis). Surah Maryam, Ayat ke-16.

Kisah Maryam, ibu kepada Nabi Isa a.s. yang megandung dan melahirkan Nabi Isa tanpa bantuan sesiapa, tanpa keluh-kesah, dan melalui saat sakit bersalin sendirian. Itulah iktibar yang patut kita ambil. Tapi... dalam hati sentiasa terdetik, tidak akan aku mampu menjadi secekal dia, namun kita sentiasa berharap pada Tuhan, agar kita ditabahkan hati dan dikuatkan iman ketika sakit bersalin nanti...

Maryam binti Imran menurut Al-Quran adalah seorang wanita yang solehah dan kuat beribadat. Maryam telah didatangi Jibrail a.s. yang menyamar sebagai seorang lelaki yang sempurna bentuk kejadiannya dan mengatakan padanya:

Ia berkata: "Sesungguhnya aku pesuruh Tuhanmu, untuk menyebabkan kamu dikurniakan seorang anak yang suci" Surah Maryam, Ayat ke-19.

Maryam terkejut dengan kata-kata Jibrail itu dan bertanya kepadanya bagaimana dia hendak mengandung, sedangkan dia belum pernah disentuh oleh mana-mana lelaki dan dia bukanlah seorang perempuan yang jahat. Jibrail menjawab:

Ia menjawab: "Demikianlah keadaannya tak usahlah dihairankan, Tuhanmu berfirman 'Hal itu mudah bagiKu, dan Kami hendak menjadikan pemberian anak itu sebagai satu tanda (yang membuktikan kekuasaan Kami) untuk umat manusia, dan sebagai satu rahmat dari Kami, dan hal itu adalah satu perkara yang telah ditetapkan berlakunya'" Surah Maryam, Ayat ke-21.

Ketika Maryam hamil, dia telah memencilkan dirinya. Orang-orang lain memikirkan dia sedang sibuk beribadat, dan tiada siapa yang tahu Maryam mengandung. Maryam melalui hari-hari kehamilannya seorang diri di tempat yang jauh. Tibalah suatu hari Maryam terasa sakit, dia hendak melahirkan. dalam kesakitan itu Maryam bersandar di sebuah pohon tamar (kurma). Surah Maryam, Ayat ke 24-26.

Maka kesakitan itu memaksanya pergi (bersandar) ke pangkal sebatang pohon tamar dan dia (Maryam) berkata "Alangkah baiknya kalau aku mati sebelum ini dan jadilah aku sesuatu yang dilupakan orang dan tidak bererti" Surah Maryam, Ayat ke-23.

Lalu ia diseru "Janganlah kamu bersedih hati, sesungguhnya Tuhanmu telah menjadikan anak sungai di bawahmu. Dan gegarkanlah pangkal pohon kurma itu ke arahmu, nescaya pohon itu akan mengugurkan buah tamar yang masak kepadamu. Maka makan, minum dan bertenang hatilah kamu. Jika kamu melihat seorang manusia, maka katakanlah: ‘Sesungguhnya aku telah bernazar berpuasa untuk Tuhan Ar-Rahman , maka aku tidak akan berbicara dengan seorang manusia pun pada hari ini.'"

Bayangkan kalau kita dalam situasi Maryam, melahirkan seorang diri tanpa sesiap menyambut anaknya, di bawah sebatang pohon tamar, yang hanya ada air sungai untuk membersihkan dirinya selepas melahirkan dan hanya makan tamar untuk mendatangkan tenaga bersalin dan berjalan pulang ke perkampungannya, dengan Nabi Isa a.s. dalam dakapannya. Dan apabila dia sampai di kalangan orang-orangnya, Maryam dicemuh melakukan zina, kerana melahirkan anak secara tiba-tiba. Tetapi Maryam yang telah diseru oleh Allah untuk membisu, taat kepada suruhan itu dan membisu seribu bahasa. Tetapi dengan kuasa Allah swt, Nabi Isa yang masih bayi itu menjawab tuduhan dan tohmahan terhadap ibunya, bahawa ibunya adalah seorang yang suci, dan dia dilahirkan sebagai rahmat dan tanda kekuasaan Allah dan beliau diberikan Kitab Injil dan dijadikan seorang nabi.

Cekalnya Maryam... mampukah aku menjadi secekal dia?

Sumber rujukan :: Tafsir Pimpinan Ar-Rahman kepada Pengertian Al-Quran

Depression during pregnancy: Is it hormonal?

Article from iVillage.com. Found it VERY useful.
Depression is one of the most common psychiatric disorders. Lifetime prevalence rates for major depression for adults are 5.8 percent, although the prevalence rates for women are about 8 percent. Depression postpartum is a well-recognized phenomenon. However, depression during pregnancy is less well understood.
Major depression is classified under the mood disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). It is defined as the occurrence of depressed moods or loss of interest or pleasure in activities, along with at least four other symptoms during the same two week period. These symptoms may include disturbances in appetite, weight, sleep, motor activity, energy, concentration or the presence of suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness or guilt. An episode of major depression can be categorized as severe, moderate or mild according to the degree to which the affected person's symptoms interfere with social and occupational functioning, including feeding, clothing and maintaining personal hygiene.
Depressive symptoms are usually of less intensity and duration than diagnosable depression. The boundary between diagnosable depression and depressive symptoms is sometimes unclear.
Prevalence estimates of depression during pregnancy varies between 4 and 7.6 percent. The incidence of prenatal depression seems to be increased in the first trimester, suggesting that this is a time of maximum vulnerability to depression. However, depressive symptoms occur in 8 to 38 percent of pregnant women.
It is common to get "the blues" from time to time. Sadness is a normal part of life. Pregnancy has been depicted in the media as a time when women bloom and get rosy complexions. In my experience, both personally and professionally, this is often far from the truth. Pregnancy is a life-altering event and a prelude to one of life's largest and most intense undertakings. Women can be overwhelmed with the spectrum of physical changes taking place and the psychological adaptation necessary to accommodate pending lifestyle changes.
Clients frequently share thoughts with me such as "I feel as if my body has been invaded" or "I can barely take care of myself; how can I take care of a baby?" Fear and trepidation walk hand in hand with joy and anticipation.
Women need an extraordinary amount of support from partners, friends and family during pregnancy, as well as several months postpartum. If there are other coincidental issues such as financial instability or marital or family discord, job dissatisfaction or maternal or family health concerns, this "pile-up" of stressors can induce a chronic state of sadness and hopelessness known as clinical depression.
Counseling, as well as medication, have been shown to be very effective in lessening depression and reducing the incidence of postpartum depression. There are several tools that are helpful in determining if this state of mind necessitates a consultation with a primary care provider or a mental health professional.
If you answer "yes" to more than two of the following questions, you may be suffering from clinical depression:
1. Much of the time, do you feel...
* sad? yes
* lethargic?
* pessimistic?
* hopeless?
* worthless?
* helpless?
2. Much of the time, do you...
* have difficulty making decisions?
* have trouble concentrating? yes
* have memory problems?
3. Lately, have you...
* lost interest in things that used to give you pleasure? yes
* had problems at work or in school?
* had problems with your family or friends?
* isolated yourself from others, or wanted to be isolated? yes
4. Lately, have you...
* felt low energy? yes
* felt restless and irritable? yes
* had trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or getting up in the morning? yes
* lost your appetite -- or gained weight? yes
* been bothered by persistent headaches, stomach aches or back aches? yes
* been bothered by muscle or joint pains? yes
5. Lately, have you...
* been drinking more alcohol than normal?
* been taking more mood-altering drugs than you used to?
* engaged in risky behavior, such as not wearing a seat belt or
* crossing streets without looking?
6. Lately, have you been thinking about...
* death? yes
* hurting yourself?
* your funeral? yes
* killing yourself?

If you are uncertain about your state of mind, I would seek the opinion of your obstetric care provider who could direct you to some counselling resources in your area.

Curry Puff.. Meehoon Goreng...

woke up at 4.15 am desperately wanting curry puffs. Lay awake for quite a while trying to brush off the images of curry puff. *sigh*

i ended up cooking meehoon goreng [since i can't eat keropok lekor without sauce] for myself, and now i'm eating it at 5 in the morning.

hmm...