As they arrange my case to transfer to the labour room, i tried to keep calm. i told myself everything will be alright and felt so relieved i get to recite Surah Maryam and Surah At-Taubah earlier while resting in the afternoon. I told Azam to meet me in the labour room, he sound a bit panicked when he heard the 'labour room' word. Both of us least expected labour will start today.
About 6.20 pm i was already wired with drip-lines, blood pressure auto-meter, pulse-meter, pendek kata segala-gala wayar. So uncomfortable but... for baby, anything will do. My blood pressure was measured every 15 mins. It didn't go down to a safe level. I continue feeling nauseated and dizzy. Then, around 7.00 pm I felt my heartburn is beginning to reach my throat. i told the nurses immediately and again red alert, doctors rushed in, looking worried. "Puan, if this is the case i think it is not good to prolong pregnancy" she said. I knew that was coming, then i asked "So, kena induce ke doctor?" she gave me 'the look' and said "Your condition is getting worst, i dun think we can wait that long, the best is to do C-Section" and there it goes, my blood pressure went ALL THE WAY UP. Another Cesarean?!! that means...
That means i'll only haf 3 children, max 4.
I tried to hold back my tears. I think both doctors saw my waryness and one of em asked me "Anak pertama Ceasar juga ke Puan?" I could only nod. She continued "Puan, BP Puan tinggi sangat, kita takut kalau tunggu lagi, Puan bleh kena seizure (sawan), atau pening yang teruk atau macam-macam lagi risiko. Bila keadaan dah macam tu, bukan Puan saja yang bahaya, anak pun ikut bahaya sekali" I nodded again, unable to utter a word. Azam still hasn't reach the labour room he went to Surau first, I long to talk to him about this decision. It's like... no other option. Honestly, I did feel guilt, will Azam blame me for falling into this predicament? Oh forget Azam, I am blaming myself already!! "Doctor, what causes this? Why is my BP high?" that wasn't the 1st time i asked that question. i already knew the answer. the other doctor went explaining it's caused my genetics, not food, not environment and asked if my mom n dad has hypertension. I told em my grandpa had it. Azam came in moments later. doctors told him about the choice we don't have and he asked for a moment to talk to both our parents. Both parents called and everybody agreed, let's go n potong my belly.
I signed the papers. they left me n Azam alone while waiting for my turn to go into Operation Theater (OT). they had to wait 6 hours after my the last thing fed into my stomach at 5.30pm, a sandwich. It was cold, uncomfortable and uneasy wait. When it was only me n Azam there in the room, I asked him to hold my hand and cried. I asked him why has it to be this way, another Cesar and only 3 kids to bear. He frowned and told me not to think of such things, other people dun even haf kids and we're lucky to haf what we haf now. He told me i should be thankful to God that at least we're in good hands and the doctors and nurses are taking good care of us. I guess i was being irrational, and tried to calm myself down again. Azam sat there waiting as i began feeling weak, they already gave my a drip to lower my BP. the drip made me feel funny and my head stopped spinning but the pain is still there. I tried to sleep to gather my strength. Around 10pm Azam went waiting outside, i told him to get some rest, but i dun think he did.
I was awakened around 11.50 pm when nurses was buzzing around me preparing to push me into OT. they wold me i was already summoned, i asked em if they see Azam around they told me not to worry as they will alert him. 12.00 am we reached the OT, Dr. Fawas, my anaesthetician told me the procedures that i am very familiar with, underwent it with Jazz's labour. I had to signed another paper after he examined me for fever and flu. 12.15 am, into the labour room and operation started 5 mins later and my O&G doctor was Dr. Marsha.
Labour room was VERY VERY VERY cold. i was shaking quiet badly and they had to get a blower (to blow hot air) to keep my warm, but it didn't worked that well. i was shivering through the entire operation. I could feel my belly shaken and pushed, and around 12.30 am, i could hear the first voice of my Khayra Qaszryna which a few seconds later turned into a loud cry. I was like... Alhamdulillah... that's my Khayra. Owh she was crying well, i was very relieved to hear her cry. they straight away brought her to the cleaning room as Dr. Marsha took out the placenta and stitched me back up. Yeah I know, I'm telling this story as if I saw the whole procedure, no i didn't i could just feel it. But since this is not my 1st Cesar and i am very well self-educated in it, i knew exactly what was going on minute-by-minute. all the readings and video-viewing payed well.
Nurse who cleaned Khayra up came in minutes later, "Puan, tgk anak Puan" she showed my Khayra's gender. "Puan, anak 2.1 kg saja" I was... 2.1?? but... the last ultrasound estimated 2.6kg! Doctors and nurses saw my worried look "It's ok, we'll see to her, now you stay calm" Dr. Fawas said to me. I was pushed to post-OT room afterwards and pushed back to the labour room at 1.50 am.
to be continued...
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